Current mood:	contemplative
Current music:	Object on Display, Run for the Roses

Re-entry
I can't believe it's been a full week since I added anything to my journal. It takes about 3 weeks (I think I recall hearing this somewhere) to establish a new habit. Clearly I haven't gotten in the habit of journaling!

It's been rather a full week. We have had several rehearsals, and are still uncertain whether the current incarnations of Rick and Johnny are going to work out. We debated having a staged reading to overcome our problem with Rick disappearing, but the new Rick says he's good-to-go with a full production, so here we go. We have 5 more rehearsals, and he's been to the last 2. He appears to be learning the part rapidly, and is playing Rick much more believably than either of the previous occupants of the role. Lonna is great as Lucy, and although I'm sad that Joyce won't have the chance to play Lucy in the first run, I have to agree with Renee and Barry that we need Lonna's experience and professionalism if we're going to make the play work. I got to see all of Act 1 with everyone but Johnny; it played pretty well. There are lots of little things that go into making a character believable and interesting; it's fun watching Barry work to pull it together (he has 20 years experience as a director). Renee is able (at least part of the time) to stop trying to be playwright, director, and actress, and just enjoy being Beth and watching how the play takes on a life of its own.

I still haven't had a night away from the house since returning from Arizona last fall. I'm going to have to do something about that, but there is still no one who can take care of Renee at night. I think she's going to have to spend a few nights in discomfort, because I definitely need a break. I just have to decide whether it's smarter to head for California (family), New York (property), or parts unknown (possibly the Grand Canyon) (for getting my head straight). I'll know when the time comes.

The first official production of Roll Model will be a reading which will be recorded for the blind. That happens next Wednesday. Thursday is the dress rehearsal, and Friday and Saturday are the *real thing* in front of paying audiences. I think the group will be very, very lucky to break even, but what do I know? I do know that it's an exciting period of time for Renee and crew, so that's a good thing. I still see the real purpose of Roll Model as being for schools, teaching tolerance and understanding of different forms of disability, but it looks like it may play in hospitals in the area first. Ultimately, I expect it to be produced for PBS, but, again, what do I know?

I went out looking for mulberries again today, but, other than a tree which had only green berries on it, I didn't find any. We had a nice walk in a park that was reported to have mulberry trees, but part of the trail had slid down a hillside due to subsidence, so the trees weren't accessible. There was some flooding of the lower part of the trail also. We've had a lot of rain here this (spring? early summer?) past month, and people are saying they're just a bit tired of it. I don't seem to mind the rain, which surprises me. It made pulling the weeds in the front flower beds a lot easier, at any rate.

An interesting (at least to me) story about 2nd chances. On June 1st, I had the auto accident, and was so depressed that I passed up a rocker-recliner that was mine for the taking, just 3 houses away from ours. I didn't think twice about it until 2 days later when Gene, who had just donated a lift chair (the kind you can get out of easily) to Joyce (the lady who is playing Lucy), said, "but what I really want is a rocker-recliner". Ouch! That would be the one I passed up, except that I was too depresssed to get it. Sorry, Gene! I actually thought we might give him a rocker-recliner that we dumpster-dove earlier, but we've been thinking of that as *ours*, and I didn't think we should just automatically pass it on just because he wanted one.

It had been a couple of weeks since we did any dumpster-diving (no time). Last Sunday night we arrived home at about 4am (trash pickup is at about 5:30am). I told Renee that I thought we should dumpster dive "because I want to find a rocker-recliner for Gene". I'm guessing that we've been out roughly 50-60 times, between January and June, probably 3 times a week average. Also, note that we had, in all that time, only ever seen two rocker-recliners. Well, we found one, in apparently perfect condition, very comfortable, and with the added "advantage" (for Gene) that it had been smoked in. Gene smokes, so he won't mind, and I feel much better about having missed the earlier one. However, I do have to watch my tendency to just fold up when I'm discouraged. Much better to be on the lookout for what people can use, and not let my emotions get in the way.

I have way too many things to do to be typing, but I realized I hadn't written anything for too long, and wanted to get something into my journal. I guess this will do for now.

And yes, I realize that I haven't addressed any of my emotional life in this entry. I think that's why I haven't been journalling; to much going on inside me that I don't feel comfortable sharing. Ah, well, I'm sure the time will come that I can be more real about what's going on. In the meantime, I like Garrison Keillor and mulberries. What more does anyone need to know?

Keep tuned.